Et in Arcadia ego

For some odd reason I’m feeling decidedly unapologetic about nearly everything lately.  I seem to be walking around with a chip upon my shoulder, daring providence to touch it. Maybe it’s just the unauthorized med change but lately I feel the sort of fearlessness that I used to feel in youth. I had an inkling [...]

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Manic Monday

I’ve had great luck on the social networking site for people with schizophrenia, bipolar, schizoaffective and related mental illnesses.  My online “special friend” is a 28-year old schizophrenic Dutch girl.  We converse at about 2:00 each day, which is for her 8:00.  It’s fun and interesting.  She really likes me and I her, so I [...]

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Psych Ward

 I haven’t talked much about my hospital stay earlier last year except in some oblique references to some changes in my medications and just saying I was “institutionalized” for a stint. During my stay from April until June I not only got to go to the psych ward during my psychotic episode, but also be treated for a [...]

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Nearly Killed

I stepped off the curb today and was almost killed by a garbage truck. (A fitting end in my opinion- I never look at crossing signs or for oncoming cars) Thank God or someone for Westinghouse air brakes, because I was really almost toast. And the sad fact is that I can’t say that I [...]

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The Lawyers Cometh…

I’ve lately become very depressed about my upcoming divorce hearing. (March the 3rd) I’m really feeling emotionally unhinged and am somewhat worried about my fleeting suicidal ideations that have been popping up now and again whenever I think about it. It is beginning to really worry me that something may really be wrong this time.  It is [...]

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Happy Valentine’s !

Happy Valentine’s day all. Ah, a day of love, inspiring that. It’s odd spending Valentine’s day without an object of affection anywhere to be seen.  I am celebrating my birthday on the 14th instead of the 18th though, so I won’t spend the day alone, anyway.  I’m having some friends over for a seafood feast of [...]

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I Made It

 If Sylvia Plath was right about anything in her short life, it is that you never know, never can tell just when the bell jar is going to descend and everything is suddenly going to go quiet. I narrowly escaped a hospital bed this time, but feel like it was by some miracle. I made a few [...]

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Old Things

I am missing some of winter’s charms this year with snow just consisting of dustings and ice- so I‘ve been trying to paint them wherever possible. I saw this great old truck near a crosswalk a few weeks ago. There is something about old vehicles that I think make you feel something of your own [...]

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Dinner Party

I went to a I went to a restaurant last evening and enjoyed the good company of some friends. The woman who brought around our coffee had a certain subtle grace that couldn’t go unnoticed. I thought it was worthy of a sketch. Many  other”ordinary” scenes probably do as well, and I try my best to mentally collect them, [...]

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Doctor Zhivago & Me

I made this oil sketch of a lonely but colorful little tree I saw in the middle of a dark area yesterday- a metaphor for the season for some of us; lux in tenebris – light in the heart of darkness. I am often left in wonder of the human animal and their singular attachments of meaning [...]

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