Looking Forward to Christmas

A bit of a rainy weekend, excepting Sunday, which was glorious. The rain seems to have left the trees, in their full glory when the rains began, denuded and the sidewalks covered in leaves. I liked walks in the rain when I was married/dating but now they just seem this side of depressing.  I [...]

Read Full Post »

Falling Down

This fall has been really something where it comes to my mental health. (It has really taken a bruising!)  I’m feeling the severe stress of school, where I’m always behind because of the damned photography course. (When is it EVER going to END?) I’m feeling the stress of taking my little man Ben out [...]

Read Full Post »

Et in Arcadia ego

For some odd reason I’m feeling decidedly unapologetic about nearly everything lately.  I seem to be walking around with a chip upon my shoulder, daring providence to touch it. Maybe it’s just the unauthorized med change but lately I feel the sort of fearlessness that I used to feel in youth. I had an inkling [...]

Read Full Post »

Odd Auditory Hallucination

I had an unusual auditory hallucination today.  I thought I heard my mother, several states away, calling my name. It took me aback because I had been doing so well with keeping touch with reality, or at least my little version of it.  I’m beginning to wonder just what percentage of life is “real” [...]

Read Full Post »

School’s Open

I’m so glad to be in school once again. Structure is comforting.  Though now I’m a little worried over a digital photography class I have taken. I was hoping it would be a breeze, but it turns out to be more work and far more reading than I can comfortably do.  My only consolation [...]

Read Full Post »

Waiting for School

I’ve been having a reasonably decent time of things lately. Mental health-wise I’m reasonably stable, except for a touch of hypochondria which I’ve yet to shake,  My car has received an automatic pass of the dreaded emission standards test due to a maintenance problem with the testing facility . The pass is for two [...]

Read Full Post »

Manic Monday

I’ve had great luck on the social networking site for people with schizophrenia, bipolar, schizoaffective and related mental illnesses.  My online “special friend” is a 28-year old schizophrenic Dutch girl.  We converse at about 2:00 each day, which is for her 8:00.  It’s fun and interesting.  She really likes me and I her, so I [...]

Read Full Post »

School’s Out

Here’s a scene I painted of a visual snapshot from last year’s county fair. A guy, a girl, cotton candy, an old truck in the background. It’s like Norman Rockwell-the way life ought to be but isn’t.
 Last days of classes this week.  I feel such a keen sense of relief that I’m not sure if [...]

Read Full Post »

Bring Me the Summer of My Youth

I’m ready for summer. I need the heat- I’ve become so tired of the cold and dampness.  I want to see sunflowers again- those big ones that seem so life-affirming. I am doing more writing -creative writing- and am going to start sending things out soon, once I’m finished with five of my short stories.  [...]

Read Full Post »

I Feel Like Having a Drink

I can’t though.  Sadly, drinking, with the meds I’m on, is now a part of my past.  I do occasionally see some loner like myself walking home after closing time if I’m up and wandering around the great metropolis of Frederick in the wee hours. (Hell, I’m crazy-who would mug me?)  Yeah, Klonopin and Geodon [...]

Read Full Post »