Manic Monday

I’ve had great luck on the social networking site for people with schizophrenia, bipolar, schizoaffective and related mental illnesses.  My online “special friend” is a 28-year old schizophrenic Dutch girl.  We converse at about 2:00 each day, which is for her 8:00.  It’s fun and interesting.  She really likes me and I her, so I [...]

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Bring Me the Summer of My Youth

I’m ready for summer. I need the heat- I’ve become so tired of the cold and dampness.  I want to see sunflowers again- those big ones that seem so life-affirming. I am doing more writing -creative writing- and am going to start sending things out soon, once I’m finished with five of my short stories.  [...]

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Upstate

 There are certain inalienable elements of our ego that go right to our core; things that must be acknowledged and defined oftentimes by dint of severe effort.  The book Upstate for me is just that; the kind of integral feature of one’s sense of self that without it you would cease to be defined at all.  I’ve been captivated [...]

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Self Perception

Whipped off this little self-portrait the other morning. It shows , I think, me in the state that I find myself in: somewhere in between hypomanic and depressed, with the slight smirk that I often use to fight back tears. I’m leaning towards hoping for the hypomanic; considering that a far better alternative than [...]

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No Appetite for the Season

Though now my flat is at about 65 degrees, which shouldn’t require a shawl and a hot water bottle, it somehow does. If I had gloves I could type in, I’d wear them, but I can only find an odd box of mittens and children’s gloves. I keep forgetting to eat while on Geodon-I honestly [...]

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Thank You, Diseased Mind

  There are lots of social stigmas to being bipolar. The knee-jerk assumption is that you’re so damned unstable that people you’ve known for a very long time avoid you, keeping their distance. Friendships often strain, and in some cases fail. On the job (on the rare occasion when I can work) you daren’t tell anyone [...]

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Winter Reading List

                                    
 
                                                                                                                                                                
To fill in the doldrums of winter I’ve been re-visiting my seasonal ritual of immersing myself in books that I know to be sure-fire thumping good reads. Lancelot, Walker Percy’s masterpiece of being and moral relativism somehow found its way back into my winter re-reading list. It’s a monologue told from-(surprise!)- a mental [...]

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