A Great Day with My Little Man

Spent a great Sunday with my little guy today.  It seems to have made up for a lot of the bad feelings I’ve been having toward his mother. We spent most of the day at a bookstore, reading him all of the new Halloween offerings.  He loves to be read to. I think we [...]

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Narrowly Escaping the Blues

I did this portrait of Clifford Brown a little while ago.  I never get tired of painting with a palette knife- no brushes to wash!  I’m in a jazz/ blues sort of mood with the changing of the guard from summer to fall. I want to be in love.  I associate the fall with long [...]

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Psych Ward

 I haven’t talked much about my hospital stay earlier last year except in some oblique references to some changes in my medications and just saying I was “institutionalized” for a stint. During my stay from April until June I not only got to go to the psych ward during my psychotic episode, but also be treated for a [...]

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Rainy Day

I saw this fellow walking the other evening with two bags of groceries (he tastefully chose paper) tucked firmly under each arm, just walking, unheeding of the rain or the traffic or of me or any other pedestrian. Eyes just fixed on nothing, in a vacant stare that seemed to be the embodiment of near-total aloofness, face emotionless. [...]

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Nearly Killed

I stepped off the curb today and was almost killed by a garbage truck. (A fitting end in my opinion- I never look at crossing signs or for oncoming cars) Thank God or someone for Westinghouse air brakes, because I was really almost toast. And the sad fact is that I can’t say that I [...]

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Christmas Cards

 
I’ve finally gotten together a Christmas card design (yes-at this late date) and am busy printing out cards on watercolor paper today. This is the design- New York Snow; snowy, urban and somehow classic-something of the 1950’s “ashcan” school of urban painting is in it. I painted it in a good frame of mind today. Intellectual clarity [...]

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What Crisis?

 
Crisis averted. Thanks to some good psychiatric care and attention, I’m feeling as close to good as I’ve felt in days. That’s I guess what keeps you out of the abyss; a constant vigilance with regards to one’s mood and state of mind. Allow yourself the “luxury” of straying off your meds or not recognizing [...]

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Gray Day

 

   I am trying to keep good thoughts going as much as is possible before going to break in on my psychiatrist today. I don’t have an appointment, though with the way I’m feeling, I think he’ll see me in any case.  I have been feeling more and more unhinged this weekend and am skirting on [...]

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No Appetite for the Season

Though now my flat is at about 65 degrees, which shouldn’t require a shawl and a hot water bottle, it somehow does. If I had gloves I could type in, I’d wear them, but I can only find an odd box of mittens and children’s gloves. I keep forgetting to eat while on Geodon-I honestly [...]

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Winter Reading List

                                    
 
                                                                                                                                                                
To fill in the doldrums of winter I’ve been re-visiting my seasonal ritual of immersing myself in books that I know to be sure-fire thumping good reads. Lancelot, Walker Percy’s masterpiece of being and moral relativism somehow found its way back into my winter re-reading list. It’s a monologue told from-(surprise!)- a mental [...]

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