Looking Forward to Christmas

A bit of a rainy weekend, excepting Sunday, which was glorious. The rain seems to have left the trees, in their full glory when the rains began, denuded and the sidewalks covered in leaves. I liked walks in the rain when I was married/dating but now they just seem this side of depressing.  I [...]

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Falling Down

This fall has been really something where it comes to my mental health. (It has really taken a bruising!)  I’m feeling the severe stress of school, where I’m always behind because of the damned photography course. (When is it EVER going to END?) I’m feeling the stress of taking my little man Ben out [...]

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A Great Day with My Little Man

Spent a great Sunday with my little guy today.  It seems to have made up for a lot of the bad feelings I’ve been having toward his mother. We spent most of the day at a bookstore, reading him all of the new Halloween offerings.  He loves to be read to. I think we [...]

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Looking at the World Differently

This fall is just getting more and more confusing and unsettled. I am beginning to realize just how foolishly blind I have been to the ways of the world.  This mainly is because of my apparent myopia to the treachery of my ex wife.  Just what the hell was I thinking buying her flowers and [...]

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Waiting for School

I’ve been having a reasonably decent time of things lately. Mental health-wise I’m reasonably stable, except for a touch of hypochondria which I’ve yet to shake,  My car has received an automatic pass of the dreaded emission standards test due to a maintenance problem with the testing facility . The pass is for two [...]

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I Feel Like Having a Drink

I can’t though.  Sadly, drinking, with the meds I’m on, is now a part of my past.  I do occasionally see some loner like myself walking home after closing time if I’m up and wandering around the great metropolis of Frederick in the wee hours. (Hell, I’m crazy-who would mug me?)  Yeah, Klonopin and Geodon [...]

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Rainy Day

I saw this fellow walking the other evening with two bags of groceries (he tastefully chose paper) tucked firmly under each arm, just walking, unheeding of the rain or the traffic or of me or any other pedestrian. Eyes just fixed on nothing, in a vacant stare that seemed to be the embodiment of near-total aloofness, face emotionless. [...]

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The Lawyers Cometh…

I’ve lately become very depressed about my upcoming divorce hearing. (March the 3rd) I’m really feeling emotionally unhinged and am somewhat worried about my fleeting suicidal ideations that have been popping up now and again whenever I think about it. It is beginning to really worry me that something may really be wrong this time.  It is [...]

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Skating Rink Outing

                                                                                                       I made it through the worst of it, thankfully, and am feeling better just now-I’m actually in what could be called a decent frame of mind. To counterbalance some of the bad feelings of the past days,I wanted to do something  life-affirming, something active, so the other day, just a day after my breakdown, I took my [...]

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Happy New Year’s !!

 Happy New Year’s ! It truly has been great so far- I’ve spent half the day with my five year old son watching the Tournament of Roses Parade and playing with Playmobil Roman armies. So far I can only feel warmth in this new calendar- a nice day without anything to give the outward impression [...]

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