Et in Arcadia ego

For some odd reason I’m feeling decidedly unapologetic about nearly everything lately.  I seem to be walking around with a chip upon my shoulder, daring providence to touch it. Maybe it’s just the unauthorized med change but lately I feel the sort of fearlessness that I used to feel in youth. I had an inkling [...]

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Narrowly Escaping the Blues

I did this portrait of Clifford Brown a little while ago.  I never get tired of painting with a palette knife- no brushes to wash!  I’m in a jazz/ blues sort of mood with the changing of the guard from summer to fall. I want to be in love.  I associate the fall with long [...]

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Waiting for School

I’ve been having a reasonably decent time of things lately. Mental health-wise I’m reasonably stable, except for a touch of hypochondria which I’ve yet to shake,  My car has received an automatic pass of the dreaded emission standards test due to a maintenance problem with the testing facility . The pass is for two [...]

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Kids are Back!

I got my kids back and I’m feeling wonderful about it!  I’ve spent a goodly amount of time with my little man and am happy to finally have my daughter back as well. I am still just so-so on summer, though the real sense of panic and crisis has somewhat passed. I wonder when the [...]

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Manic Monday

I’ve had great luck on the social networking site for people with schizophrenia, bipolar, schizoaffective and related mental illnesses.  My online “special friend” is a 28-year old schizophrenic Dutch girl.  We converse at about 2:00 each day, which is for her 8:00.  It’s fun and interesting.  She really likes me and I her, so I [...]

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School’s Out

Here’s a scene I painted of a visual snapshot from last year’s county fair. A guy, a girl, cotton candy, an old truck in the background. It’s like Norman Rockwell-the way life ought to be but isn’t.
Last days of classes this week.  I feel such a keen sense of relief that I’m not sure if [...]

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Bring Me the Summer of My Youth

I’m ready for summer. I need the heat- I’ve become so tired of the cold and dampness.  I want to see sunflowers again- those big ones that seem so life-affirming. I am doing more writing -creative writing- and am going to start sending things out soon, once I’m finished with five of my short stories.  [...]

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Rainy Day

I saw this fellow walking the other evening with two bags of groceries (he tastefully chose paper) tucked firmly under each arm, just walking, unheeding of the rain or the traffic or of me or any other pedestrian. Eyes just fixed on nothing, in a vacant stare that seemed to be the embodiment of near-total aloofness, face emotionless. [...]

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Upstate

 There are certain inalienable elements of our ego that go right to our core; things that must be acknowledged and defined oftentimes by dint of severe effort.  The book Upstate for me is just that; the kind of integral feature of one’s sense of self that without it you would cease to be defined at all.  I’ve been captivated [...]

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Nearly Killed

I stepped off the curb today and was almost killed by a garbage truck. (A fitting end in my opinion- I never look at crossing signs or for oncoming cars) Thank God or someone for Westinghouse air brakes, because I was really almost toast. And the sad fact is that I can’t say that I [...]

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