Manic Monday

I’ve had great luck on the social networking site for people with schizophrenia, bipolar, schizoaffective and related mental illnesses.  My online “special friend” is a 28-year old schizophrenic Dutch girl.  We converse at about 2:00 each day, which is for her 8:00.  It’s fun and interesting.  She really likes me and I her, so I have no complaints.  Other than conversing with God regularly, and rapper Eminem (so she says), she is fairly “normal” whatever that means.  I have half a mind to visit her in Holland- it seems like she feels hemmed in by her culture and lorded over by her parents.  She says there are periods when she can be fairly normal, and predicts she’ll return to a normal state in four to six months (fingers crossed).

We’ll see just where this is going, if anywhere, soon, I’m sure.  She is attractive, young, and seems to be just crazy enough to keep me on my toes and feed into the mania that I am feeling of late.  I saw my shrink today, and he is alarmed at my rapid cycling, so has scheduled an appointment uncharacteristically close to today’s in order to discuss introducing a new medication to stabilize me further.  (Usually we meet only every four weeks.)  I feel my cycles, and I know I’m UP just now.  My daughter is graduating from high school in a few days, my mother is coming with her usual cornucopia of plenty: plenty of rich foods (crab legs, oysters, crab cakes, huge prawns, etc.), plenty of free and easy money handed out (mom is rich from her retail tire business), gambling (she loves to gamble), plenty of activities- lots of things to feed this delicious mania of mine.  Oh, how I LOVE mania- it feels so good- better than sex, even.  If all life could just feel this way, I may just want to live forever.