Happy Valentine’s !

Happy Valentine’s day all. Ah, a day of love, inspiring that. It’s odd spending Valentine’s Day without an object of affection anywhere to be seen.  I am celebrating  my birthday in grand style on the 14th, so I won’t spend the day alone, anyway.  I’m having some friends over for a seafood feast of crab legs, shrimp, clams, scallops and oysters. (It’s going to be good.)  I took my soon-to-be ex -wife and step children over their boxes of candy and her flowers a day early, as tomorrow will be a frantic time of preparation, and there probably wouldn’t be time. They seemed to be somewhat subdued in their household, making me think that perhaps my soon-to-be is feeling a similar sense of loss as I’m feeling.We embraced (somewhat awkwardly) and she sincerely seemed to appreciate the flowers- her favorite rose-peach shade of roses.  Life was far from perfect with us even during the “good” times , largely due to my illness, but it is easy to idealize those snatches of life wherein you can recall happy times.  I’ve been going lately to a bipolar support group which has changed my perspective on some things.  Damn, I’m lucky is all I can say; my mood is neither manic nor depressed, my meds aren’t too bad, my finances are especially good, I’ve got a new Macbook and a car that runs, which places me well ahead of many of the other participants, all of whom seem to have some pretty heavyweight troubles.  Some of them are at a crisis point each session, which makes me thankful for what I’ve been able to accomplish with my recovery.  There’s really nothing like looking into the abyss to help to keep you out of it. My goal for next year is to hopefully have someone to love for next Valentine’s day, so we’ll see just how that goes.